I hate you
by Chi Haku
Summary: Because he knows I don't mean it...that I can't mean it. EnvyAme EnvyOC


"I hate you." I hiss, as Envy pushes me up against the wall.

I wish he would stay silent, but he chuckles anyway. His vibrant violet eyes stare straight into my black ones, making me loose myself in amethyst. I wish that I wasn't like this. I wish I didn't respond to him, his movements, in such a way. I wish I was able to resist those eyes, those lips, that mind, that voice, that BEING.

Envy's lips were at my throat, attacking with glee, almost relishing in the fact that he knew I wouldn't fight back.

"You're beautiful."

"Shut up."

He laughed this time. Full out _LAUGHED_. I didn't bother doing anything to contradict his laughter, knowing it would do no good.

We always played this game of cat and mouse, he and I. Or should we say dragon and fox? I was always the one to start it, always the small mouse, running around and taunting the cat. Whether it be wearing something that I knew would turn him on (something a little too revealing), or making small innuendos in our arguments. Sometimes I would allow some other man to flirt with me, knowing full well that in all of twenty seconds, he would be there, roughly kissing me to shut the guy up. At other times, I would just get too damn CLOSE, purposely allowing my hand to brush his leg, or maybe his palm, which he was using to block with, to land on my stomach, or chest.

But I'm always the one who starts it.

Of course, I always yell at him whenever he begins his part. I tell him I hate him, and that he's an idiot, and to get off me. Of course, he doesn't listen, because he knows I don't mean it.

Yeah. That's the truth. I don't mean it.

I _NEVER_ mean it. Whenever I say those things, whenever I talk to him in that icy tone, he knows, just as well as I do, that I am as far from meaning it as he is from believing it. And it's not because I don't WANT to mean it, because trust me, I do. I want to mean so badly it hurts me to know that I _DON'T_ mean it. He knows that, so he plays along. He lets me say, because he can see through me, and he knows, that if I don't say it, if I don't act like it, I'll lose myself.

I swore allegiance to the Elric brothers, but here I am, madly and desperately in need, in want, in _LOVE_ with our blatant enemy. If I admitted all that to myself any more than I already had, I would probably lose my mind. Who did I truly stand for? In a fight to the death, whom would I choose? Edward or HIM? I didn't want to think about that, didn't even want to admit that one day I would have to make that very choice.

I **HATE** him.

I **DESPISE** him.

I could **NEVER** love him.

He **DISGUSTS** me.

I'm only doing this with **THAT** out of lust.

He doesn't mean **ANYTHING** to me.

He. That. It. Him.

_**ENVY.**_

A short yell escapes me, which quickly turns to a growl.

"That HURT you bastard!" I growl, tugging his hair in a way I KNOW must be painful.

He just laughs again, masking the small yelp that he's uttered from my pulling. I loosen my grip, resting my hands against his scalp and neck, and he knows that's all I can allow myself to do as an apology. He swipes his tongue over the reddening mark on my neck, the entire reason I got angry in the first place, as an apology of his own. I gasp as he sucks softly, because he knows I liked the bite for the most part anyway.

"I love you Ame."

He cups my face and finally kisses my lips, his long hair tickling my cheeks. He knows I won't respond, he knows I won't kiss back, but he kisses me anyway. When I part my lips for him, he knows that it's the same as me kissing him back. If I were to actually respond, actually express that I LIKED the things he was doing to me, I would be betraying myself, as well as my friends. I allow him to suck softly on my tongue, licking around my mouth again, before pulling back.

He tilts my head so that I have no choice but to stare into his amazing eyes. They're saying the same thing they always do, the same thing they always will. Maybe, maybe one day I will allow myself to respond. Maybe one day I won't break under the strength of my own mind. Maybe one day he won't have to stop himself from going too far. Maybe one day I'll be able to say his name without feeling it burn my tongue.

Maybe one day…

"I hate you."

He smiles. "I know."


End file.
